Thoughts : Stream of Consciousness
The Killer
What was i thinking? Why did I let him go? I have been training for YEARS to be where I am and I blow it? I don’t understand what I did or why I did it. If this information gets spread around I am going to be killed, boy will I be dead. I LET HIM GO. I actually just let him go by and go run to safety I couldn’t kill him, I couldn’t do it. He’s going to be dead eventually, but why couldn’t I kill him? By sending him on, the only thing I did was draw out the time until his death more. Now he has to live, knowing he’s going to die, living in pain and suffering. What if he wanted to die? What if that’s what he wished I did? Just to get it over with? I always thought that killing them wouldn’t be that hard because they deserve it. They refused to support our country and support us in the first war. They are stealing money from us--how are they rich when everyone else is poor and in a state of poverty or depression? They must be stealing! It’s not like his life matters anyways, I am of the superior race. Damn Jews. Ruining everything. But why couldn’t I do it???? Loyalty is my honor and everything I have done in my recent years has been for this moment, so I can finally support my country and leader in the best way possible and I get the opportunity and it’s my job and I CAN’T do it? At this point, I fear for my life, his life, everyone’s life. I thought being here and serving would be a good idea, I was wrong.
What was i thinking? Why did I let him go? I have been training for YEARS to be where I am and I blow it? I don’t understand what I did or why I did it. If this information gets spread around I am going to be killed, boy will I be dead. I LET HIM GO. I actually just let him go by and go run to safety I couldn’t kill him, I couldn’t do it. He’s going to be dead eventually, but why couldn’t I kill him? By sending him on, the only thing I did was draw out the time until his death more. Now he has to live, knowing he’s going to die, living in pain and suffering. What if he wanted to die? What if that’s what he wished I did? Just to get it over with? I always thought that killing them wouldn’t be that hard because they deserve it. They refused to support our country and support us in the first war. They are stealing money from us--how are they rich when everyone else is poor and in a state of poverty or depression? They must be stealing! It’s not like his life matters anyways, I am of the superior race. Damn Jews. Ruining everything. But why couldn’t I do it???? Loyalty is my honor and everything I have done in my recent years has been for this moment, so I can finally support my country and leader in the best way possible and I get the opportunity and it’s my job and I CAN’T do it? At this point, I fear for my life, his life, everyone’s life. I thought being here and serving would be a good idea, I was wrong.